Friday, January 29, 2010

An Immodest Proposal

An Obama administration insider told the Washington Post today that "New York is out" for the trial of Khalid Sheik Mohammed, the so-called mastermind of the 9/11 attacks.

The decision, by feds, to try Mohammed and his other friends currently held at Gitmo in a federal court as opposed to a military commission is a good thing, and those who say that as long as he receives due process, the venue doesn't matter are right.

In fact, why bother with a venue altogether? Why not just put Khalid Sheik Mohammed in the next spaceship headed for Mars. Upon arrival, he can be ejected, dumped, and left to fend for himself on the red planet where he may find himself as breakfast, lunch, or dinner for hungry aliens.

And, if the mission goes well, it might even make sense to ship the other "enemy combatants" to Mars, too.

The notion of receiving a fair trial appears to be a rather antiquated one. Saddam Hussein would agree. It's not like Mohammed has claimed he's innocent. To the contrary, he flaunts his guilt.

Everybody knows how this movie is going to end, so why waste taxpayer money, why not imbue the phrase "extraordinary rendition" with a whole new meaning by sending avowed terrorists into outer space? To borrow a word the president seemed to enjoy during his first State of the Union speech, this gesture may even act as a deterrent, and enhance national security.

After all, if you knew the sentence for committing a terrorist act is being shipped off to another planet, and dumped, you might think twice before blowing yourself up. Hell, you might even think once before blowing yourself up.

Besides, nobody really expects to see a trial in a federal courthouse featuring the mastermind of 9/11 to be anything more than a malformed media circus that will achieve nothing other than boosting ratings on television news networks.

Of course, some Martians might complain that we're turning their planet into a dumping ground for earth's misfits, but then there will be proof positive that life on Mars does exist. Some environmentalists here on earth might also argue against polluting Mars with our moral carcinogens, and kamikaze criminals, but isn't this what Great Britain did when it emptied its jails onto the Mayflower, and we don't seem to be any worse for it, do we?