"Can't get no?"

Those of you who tuned in to the NFL Super Bowl at half-time yesterday, and who know the lyrics to the Rolling Stones songs by heart, may have noticed that some of the words were deleted.

According to Agence France Presse News today, the Stones agreed to be censored twice for being "too sexually explicit for family viewing" bringing the concept of self-censorship to a whole new level. Frankly, I find the entire incident terribly Clintonesque in that Jagger actually sang the "offending lyrics," but the NFL switched off the mike, so that nobody in the stadium, or those viewing at home, was able to hear them. It's the old "If a tree falls in the forest" routine. If nobody can hear them, did he actually say the words, and does that also depend on our definition of what the word "is" is?

NFL spokesman Brian McCarthy was quoted as saying: "As planned and agreed upon with the Stones, we turned down Mick's mike for two specific seconds." I suppose we should be grateful for small things---the mike was turned off for only two seconds. A spokesperson for ABC insists that the network had nothing to do with what must have been a rehearsed verbal outage. Clearly, Janet Jackson's bare boob was behind the NFL move.

Still, how can anyone compare exposing a body part, inadvertently or otherwise, during family hour with using a word that may have sexual innuendo? The word "rooster" may be seen as a double entendre, but you'd have a hard time convincing a hen of that! Mind you, I'm no expert on roosters though, from what I hear, pheasant hens prefer cocks with bigger spurs.

It seems to me that if we're going to pull the plug on anybody's testimony, or the language that they use, then we ought to bleep out two-thirds of what Alberto Gonzales had to say to the Senate Judiciary Committee today which was, in the best sense of the word, offensive, and all of which would be deemed viewable at any hour!

Personally, Mr. Jagger has always been among my favorite all-time performers not solely because of his remarkable dynamism, but for his impressive levels of testasterone which ostensibly have been seasoned, (or reasoned), over time. And, while his sparks may need replacing, he doesn't need new shocks; he appears to have more staying power than the ever ready battery. More importantly, as long as ABC doesn't censor his paycheck, it appears Mick Jagger is satisfied!